It Is Hard To Be SonGoku
by Val
Summary: Songfic from Goku's POV about his own life, his hero's status, his role of father and husband, the man he just is. Please review.


Author's Note: I personnaly find Goku quite stupid when he's adult, but I must admit that he is a great warrior. One day (I think I really had nothing to do), I decided to write this little something. It's kinda to show what he could feel like after DBGT, when he was in the Dragon Balls... The song is "Aitsu Wa Songoku" and it's Goku's song (duh!). Please review.  
  
~~~~  
  
Yes, it's hard to be an hero, the one on whom everybody can count, the one who always have to save the day... The one with all the confidence and the courage, the power and the technics...  
  
I remember, I've always been late for fight, or almost... Now I regret that. Many people died because of that. My friends have been hurt very badly so many times... I wish I could turn back time and went faster...  
  
" Aitsu wa dare? Aitsu wa dare? Hikaru kumo ni tobinottara FLYING Sora no kanata made  
Sunda hitomi Kitaeta waza Midori no hoshi mamoru tame ni FIGHTING Mune ni hi ga tagiru   
Wonder Boy... Naze na n' da? Wonder Boy... Pinchi demo Yake ni suzushige na me ga tamaranai ze"  
  
People thinks I'm happy and carefree. I used to be, for sure. But after my very first fight, against my first evil enemy, Piccolo-Damaïo, I tried to be maturer, more responsible. I disappointed and stressed many people with being stupid... Sometimes it was just fun, but other times I wish I hadn't act like that. After my fight against Vegeta, I realized I had my own son to protect, even if I didn't want to over-protect him.  
  
Many times I wished I could be just a normal man, without all the fears and the responsibilities...  
  
Yes, I was afraid sometimes. Afraid that there would always be a new enemy, always more powerful than the last one, afraid that one day I should failed. I couldn't always be the man of the situation. I couldn't always save the Earth and the people I love. Once I tried to give that role to Gohan, but he wasn't ready yet... I thought that with Vegeta, Gohan, Trunks and all the others, I could have a little rest. But no, they needed me. I'm not mad at them, no, it's ok. But I don't understand.  
  
Why am I the one who have all the power ? All the capabilities ? All the courage and the determination ? I wasn't that brave, after all. Why couldn't it be someone else, like Vegeta ? He has always been mad at me because I was stronger than he was. But I don't understand myself why I am. I wanted to be as strong as possible in first time. Then I wanted to be strong enough to defend the Earth. Then it was because I've always done that and I didn't know what else to do. And now... I'm stuck in the Dragon Balls.  
  
"Son Goku Yume wo egaki-tsuzukeru Son Goku Omae koso ga hiiroo Donna tegowai teki idomarete mo Mune no furue ga atsui pawaa sa"  
  
Of course I am proud of my sons. I think I've showed them. I love them. Gohan never disappointed me, he's even better than I am. Goten... Goten is Goten. He's not like Gohan, I know. Too many times I compared him to his old brother. I shouldn't have. If I had the chance, I would ask him to forgive me. A good day father-and-son with him, alone, maybe fishing... I never did that with him. All I did was training him...  
  
"Aitsu wa dare? Aitsu wa dare? Ai no tame ni genkai made BURNING Nani mo osorenai Kobushi nigiru Surudoi kao Kodomo wo daki miseru egao CHANGING Nikui sorujaa sa"   
  
I also remember that when I was finally arrived to the fight, after everybody had suffer or even die... The ones who were still alive were very glad to see me. " Goku is here, we're saved. " Didn't they know the pressure that was putting on me ? I was nervous and afraid, but I couldn't show it. They wanted to see me as a hero. The one who would always find a way to defeat any enemy, however strong he was... The courage was getting bigger within themselves when I was arriving, showing a confident smile, as if everything would be ok even if all I wanted was to be a weak man who wouldn't even know about that fight...  
  
"Wonder Boy... Fushigi da ze Wonder Boy... Megeta toki Omae mite iru to yuuki ga deru no sa   
Son Goku Nigeru koto wo shiranai Son Goku Omae koso ga hiiroo Yubisaki kara inazuma tobichireba Ai ni hamukau teki wa inai sa"   
  
Sometimes it was so hard that all I wanted was to break down in cries. But what would they have thought ? They thought I would never give up in any fight at all, however hard and painful it was. And I didn't want to let them down. They always gave all they had for me... Krilin, Yamcha, Tenshinhan, Gohan... Even Vegeta.  
  
I had to be the most powerful, confident and brave warrior. I had to not show my real feelings... Of course, it wasn't like Vegeta. I showed my joy and my anger. But my deep sadness and fear ? Not that much. I'd never cried in front of my friends. Maybe Chichi, Bulma and Krilin, they are my very best friends... I'm glad I never let my feelings go before my responsibilities. If I had, what would have happened ?  
  
"...Demo shitte iru Aku wo nikunda yoru Hito-tsubu no namida ochita koto..."  
  
I am Son Goku, the legendary fighter and defender of Earth. I've accomplished my mission all my life and even more. Now I'm doing my last task for the world, purifying the Dragon Balls. I have plenty of time to think about my life and all that. Now I see all my errors I've done and what I should have done. But I can't change anything now. I'd like to see my friends and family again... Chichi, Gohan, Goten, Krilin, Vegeta, Trunks, Bulma, Yamcha, Piccolo and all the others that believed in me all that time... They'll never know who I really was : a simple man. Not a hero, without any fear and totally carefree. Not a hero who would always save the day. Not a hero who could eliminate any enemy without ever being afraid. Not a man that never cares about the people he loves, about his own life... Yes, I knew what I was doing, even when I sacrificed my life twice, even third. I needed to do that for them, that's all.  
  
"Son Goku Yume wo egaki-tsuzukeru Son Goku Omae koso ga hiiroo Donna tegowai teki idomarete mo Mune no furue ga atsui pawaa sa   
Son Goku Nigeru koto wo shiranai Son Goku Omae koso ga hiiroo Yubisaki kara inazuma tobichireba Ai ni hamukau teki wa inai sa"  
  
It is hard to be Son Goku, the greatest hero ever been. They think that my spirit is protecting them. Maybe, but I didn't meant to. They think I'll come back one day. It doesn't work like that. I'll disappear when the Dragon Balls will be pure again. Simply disappear... And so, all my family and friends would be gone too. I won't see them in the Other World. But I had the chance to know them alive and to see all their best and worst sides. They believed in me and that gave me my power. Thanks you, my friends. Krilin, Vegeta, Chichi, Gohan, Trunks, Goten, Piccolo, Yamcha, Bulma, Tenshinhan, Mutenroshi... All those I forget... Thanks, it's because of you I've became that hero you believed in...  
  
END 


End file.
